August
18
2010
It was ninety years ago today. After suffragettes fought for years, the 19th amendment was passed and gave women the right to vote. Earlier this year, with an unprecedented number of women running for political office, the GOP declared 2010 the “Year of the Woman”. And no wonder.
In California, business women and conservatives Meg Whitman and Carly Fiorino won tough primaries in California, for governor and senator respectively. Sarah Palin’s popularity grows in spite constant criticism from the mainstream media. Democrat Blanche Lincoln has been dealing with tough, tough criticism in her state (AR) because of her support for President Obama’s heath care legislation. Yet when challenged in the Arkansas primary by the state’s Lt. Governor, Bill Halter, Lincoln won. Closer to home, here in Pennsylvania, five women are running for State Representative, three of them for open seats. In November, 106 women around the country are challenging their state’s incumbents.
Surprisingly, gender has barely been raised and campaigns aren’t focusing on abortion/right to life issues. Instead they’re focused on the economy and the size and scope of government. More than ever before in our history, women are stepping into political leadership roles.
Still according to sheshouldrun.org, “Women are 50% less likely than men to seriously consider running for office, and 30% less likely to actually run. Women are also 1/3 less likely to be asked to run, or to consider themselves qualified. When women do run, they win at the same rate as men.”
In the run-up to the November elections, the women in politics will be all over traditional and social media. Are there lessons you can learn from the women in politics season? Yes, and probably the same ones that your mother and grandmother might have learned from those early suffragettes, including these:
Values First: What really matters to you? What do you never want to live without? Freedom, love, money, independence…or something else? Knowing what you value is important because without values how would you know what matters? How would you know what your life stands for or defend what’s important to you? And when you aren’t sure of your true values, it’s like the old saying goes, “if don’t stand for something, you’ll fall for anything.” Lesson: know your values; make a list.
Vision: When you think of the future, what is in the picture that has “my life” written underneath it? Is it an active woman playing golf, cards, dancing or hanging with the grandkids (or all of those)? Or is it the owner of a successful business, a talk show host, a U.S Senator or something else?
Without a picture that describes what you want (vs. what someone else said you should have or expect) you give up your true self and let someone else lead the way…and maybe not in a direction that you want to go. Lesson: if your vision isn’t clear to you, create your own personal Victorious Vision Book.
ASK: You might feel comfortable asking your girlfriends for what you need. But do you shy away from asking your boss for a raise or with help figuring out your career path?
In nearby Delaware, Business Owner Kay Gallogly is running for District Representative. She won her party’s endorsement, but the Democratic Primary is a month away and her opponent is tough. Over the past few months, Kay has asked friends, colleagues and supporters for their help in the form of time, talent and money. It’s not easy for her, but Kay honed her “asking skills” during years of doing volunteer work for her church and as a board member for the annual Delaware Women’s Conference.
Lesson: Build your ASKing skill so you can easily and graciously ask for what you need.
Ignore random criticism: Most women seem to be really sensitive to rejection and see criticism as one display of it. Unfortunately, fear of rejection keeps many, many women from stepping up into their own happiness and success. But in politics, criticism is just part of the process. If a candidate can’t handle the negative (often unfounded) things others say about them, they look weak and lose credibility.
In the nineties, few women were as vilified as Hillary Clinton during Bill Clinton’s presidency. Now it’s Sarah Palin’s turn. What do they do? Clinton and Palin may not like it, but they take it in stride as they move forward.
Lesson: people are going to say what they want – whether it’s true or not. Don’t let it stop you. Instead, be sensitive to honest feedback from people you trust and ignore the rest.
If you develop them, these four skills will help you run your own race to be the best of who you are. That’s what our foremothers did to get the vote. It’s what the “Year of the Women” group is doing this political season. Watch them, learn and grow.
Copyright ©2010 Annmarie Kelly
Special Offer: Do you know how to make a Victorious Vision Book or what your values are? Annmarie Kelly will send you the Vision directions and a Values Tracker, free of charge. Just email info@victoriouswoman.com with VALUES TRACKER in the subject line.
July
28
2010
Last night Suzanne Lightcap was crowned the 2010 Kimberton Fair Queen in the Chester County suburbs outside Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. When they announced her name, Suzanne looked shocked. I wasn’t. I was one of the judges, and I voted for her.
When I was asked to be a judge, it was an easy call. The Kimberton Fair Queen contest is fairly unique. It’s not a trite competition which focuses on looks – though clearly each contestant is an attractive young woman. Instead, it’s about the stuff leadership is made of: her message, her ability to communicate that message, and her presence, specifically the way she conducts herself in the judging process. So how could I not say “yes” to something that promotes leadership and skill-building for young women?
Skill-Building is what I discussed with outgoing Queen Jessica Dixon as we waited for the “show” to begin. Jessica, while navigating her way through her freshman year at West Chester University, was active in the 2009-10 “Queen” events. Focused on promoting Pennsylvania’s farming community, she participated in farm-related events. She also worked a project that brought inner city children to farms. She laughs, “It’s good that kids know how fruits and vegetables are grown, and that hamburgers don’t come from McDonald’s.” And last winter she competed against sixty other young women from all across the state. She said she had a great year and was excited for the incoming queen.
This year, Suzanne will follow the same pattern. I believe she’s up to the task. When I was evaluating her, I especially liked two things about Suzanne. First of all, she was passionate about the substance of the fair. An annual attendee (Suzanne’s first Kimberton contest was the baby contest), she became increasingly more involved each year, submitting entries into art and agriculture contests, working booths, and doing grunt work for the fair. So when she spoke at the judging, and during her interview, I really felt that she would embody the best of everything about her county and the fair.
But that isn’t all.
While Suzanne Lightcap’s interview was impressive, and she earned my vote based on her performance, there’s more about her that impressed me. The 2010 contest wasn’t her first shot at the queenly opportunity. She’d competed for several years. She even earned the “ambassador” role, but not queen. Yet she didn’t give up. This year she tried again, giving it her all. She built on her previous competition experiences to help her win this year.
Passion and persistence: two qualities that enhance the leadership style of every woman. Congratulations to Suzanne Lightcap – and I hope she fans the “P&P” flames in everything she does.
And to you, victorious woman leaders that you are, I hope you use Passion and Persistence to get MORE of the life you want.
July
22
2010
Yesterday I was running around, multi-tasking more than I wanted, when I thought about my mother. I remember when she could do the same thing. In her heyday she could run up and down steps in seconds, walk for miles, get a fabulous meal on the table in no time, sew a hem in a flash and so much more. And, Leo that she was, could be more stubborn and proud than almost anyone else I knew.
While she could do all of those things once, in her last years she used all her energy just to stay living independently. Though still in relatively good health almost to the end, the easiest things, like getting dressed and making breakfast, became daily projects.
As those memories of my mother flooded my mind, I stopped for a moment to be thankful for my own good health, mobility, abundance of activity, etc. As I did, something creeped into my consciousness. I wondered…how much time to do I have? I wasn’t thinking about dying, but instead wondered how much time I have to accomplish everything I want to do.
Then I thought about Dr. Robert Schuller, minister of the famed Crystal Cathedral. He once talked about a congregant who declared, “Dr. Schuller, I hope you live to see all your dreams realized.” But Dr. Schuller disagreed. “I hope I don’t,” he replied, “because then I wouldn’t have anything to look forward to.” His words impressed themselves on my mind.
Do you ever think about the same things? I hope you do.
Unfortunately, I notice how few women think about what they want to accomplish. In fact, when someone attends one of my workshops, and I ask her what she wants to do, the most frequent response is, “I don’t know.” She has some nebulous idea of what happy looks like, but no real clarity. When I woman doesn’t know where she wants to go, she’s too easily led onto a path that might not take her to her destiny.
So how do you make your life better, more satisfying, or happier if you don’t know what’ll do it for you?
Start with bucket list? Do you have a list of personal things you want to accomplish, feelings you want to experience, fun stuff you want to do? If you don’t, why not make one?
Summer is a great time to think about what you want to do. With the long days comes a more relaxed attitude so your mind has time to think with a little less stress. Start now…and share your ideas with us so your ideas will jog our thoughts.
I’ll get us started…
- I want to see all the best fireworks in the US. Send me your suggestions. Being east coast, I love Philly (been there), DC, NYC, Boston.
And thank you for being part of The Victorious Woman Project…now get going…create that list and start stretching into the victories that lead you to your success!
June
21
2010
It’s the longest day of the year. I’m celebrating the day by being outside during those long daylight hours. Friend and soon-to-be Chester County Toastmaster president Cathy Lane is hosting a transition party for the local Toastmaster group. As outgoing president, I’ve been mentoring Cathy for the past couple weeks so she is ready when she steps into her new role on July 1. The soiree is a mentoring opportunity for my executive team to help the new crew make a smooth move into club leadership.
I’m sure they will be and I believe that next year Cathy will feel about her executive team the way I feel now about mine. I couldn’t have asked for a better group of leaders to work with: Scott Swinehart, Joseph Eagle, Brian Sagula, Cathy Lane, Mark Reich, Mark Meaders, Daniel Fernandes and Susan Lacy. During our year, we achieved the highest Toastmaster club ranking, President’s Distinguished. We also started a club mentoring program, Chester County Toastmaster Movie night (featuring speeches of international speech contest winners), and the Ambassador Club. Thanks to Robin Flavelle who dotted all the i’s and crossed the t’s that I would never have paid attention to or known to do.
If you don’t know about the speaker and leadership benefits of Toastmasters, here’s the link: http://www.toastmasters.org. You can learn about Toastmasters and find clubs that meet in your area…and going to the meeting is the best way to find out if Toastmasters is for you.
June
7
2010
Great time at the Italian-American Festival yesterday! I was one of the featured authors with Victorious Woman! along with children’s book author Pat Mariani (And Baby Makes A Family), vampire novelist James Vanore (Grave Departure) and cookbook authors Lorraine Ranalli (Gravy Wars) and Janet Zappala (My Italian Kitchen). I met Janet in NY last month and she’s great! Her daughter was serving a pesto spread on crackers – a sampling. It was wonderful. I’m itching to try Janet’s roasted red pepper gravy. I’ll keep you posted when I do. All the books are available online.
June
6
2010
Join us today at Rose Tree Park in Media, 12-6pm. Great food, contests, music!
June
1
2010
Whew! What a great Victorious Woman Month! I hope yours was as exciting as mine! Did you have a Victory Party? Did you honor the women who helped pave the way for your victories? Did you take some time for yourself – first to recognize, acknowledge and celebrate your own victories, and then to pamper yourself in appreciation for your efforts?
May
28
2010
Sarah Ferguson
Kathie Lee Gifford
Great couple of days at Book Expo America! It’s at New York’s Javits Center…the whole Javits Center – it’s huge! Along with doing some good book business, I met Sarah, Duchess of York and Kathie Lee Gifford, who were both signing their newest children’s books. Both women were gracious and personable, something that’s not so easy to do when signing book after book for an hour or more. I know from my own book signings that, while being grateful for the people in line, it’s a challenge to keep the energy going. But they did, and were great author-models (and just so you know, not every author is so nice at those signings…). Thanks to Publisher Sheila Ruth who got to the Javits center at 6:30am to get the tickets
I also met some wonderful book people – other authors, book club readers, reviewers, librarians, and just cool women who were waiting in autographing lines with me. One of them was a twenty-something young woman who was just ahead of me in the Kathie Lee line. She was so excited and I asked her why. She told me when she was a kid, and later during summer vacation and school days off, she and her mother would watch Kathie Lee and Regis on their television show each morning. Over the years, in addition to the warm and fuzzy “mom connection”, she saw Kathie Lee as a model of values and ethics. I agree with her. Do you?